Susan Keller

Annie, working as a waitress, has met Dean and they’ve fallen in love. They have a date tonight that won’t end for at least 24 hours. She’s really looking forward to his arrival and their time together. Here is what happens.

 

It’s nearly five and I’ll have to move to be ready by the time Dean gets here. Mr. Bill and I worked a long, busy lunch shift. I shower, then pour myself a glass of chard. After a few sips, the familiar relaxation flows through me.

Regarding the alcohol, I just want to not want it. At least not every day. But, if I’m honest, I still want it. Not need it. That’s an important distinction. That is the distinction.

I put on a short, blue dress that shows off my legs. Dean likes me in this. I make up my face. After the wine is gone, I brush my teeth twice and put the flask of vodka into my bag.

I hear Dean’s car in the driveway and have the door open when he arrives. He smells of soap and tastes minty. His lips are soft. I love his muscular arms around me.

“I’ll just get a sweater,” I say and head to my bedroom.

As I walk back toward the living room, I see Dean opening my leather bag and panic.

“What is it? Do you need something?” My voice is strained and I’m speaking too fast.

“I wanted to surprise you. I was going to put this in your bag.”

He holds up an incense burner. I hope to God he didn’t see the flask.

“Oh, Dean, how thoughtful.”

 

Photo by Olena Bohovyk

 

I reach for his gift.

“And I got you this. It’s Sandalwood.”

He hands me the incense and looks at me as if he’s confused. “Sorry, if it looked like I was invading your privacy.”

“No. Not at all. This is so sweet. I’ll burn it and think of you.”

I need to cover up my agitation and calm down. But I’m shaken by what he might have seen.

“Let’s go,” I say and reach for Dean’s hand.

As a take-it-or-leave-it drinker, Dean likes beer. But if the restaurant had run out, he’d shrug and say, “Oh, well,” and order an iced tea. If the restaurant ran out of wine, I’d get a bit nervous. I wouldn’t want him to see that. I’d act nonchalant. But the restaurant hasn’t run out of wine and I order a glass of chard that Dean thinks is my first.

 

This excerpt is from Mostly Sober: A Love Story and a Road Trip. If you read and enjoy the book, please leave an Amazon review. It will help others who wish to cut back on alcohol find the help they need. My most sincere thanks, Susan